Good News!

Hello!!  I am EXTREMELY happy to say that I am feeling MUCH better!!  My PPD has subsided, and the exhaustion is finally loosening it's hold on me.  Boy, lemme tell ya, when people give you the advice to "sleep when he sleeps"  TAKE IT!!   It made all the difference when he was being a pill to put to sleep at night.  In other news my hubby found a JOB!!  YAY!  The poor guy has been looking for 2 stinking years and I am glad to say that he finally found one that I think he will enjoy.  It is with a company based here in town, that is rapidly expanding into Wyoming, Idaho and Washington.  I will be staying home with Hogan until after the first of the year, and after that I will be picking up one shift a week at the hospital.
I did Hogan's one month pictures the other day...he is so damn cute!  So...feast your eyes on the most adorable baby in the WORLD!

In Strength, Love & Faith, Thanks for Reading, Charity

Hogan's Birth Story

My oh my!  Well, as you can imagine a lot has been going on since my last post!  Hogan was born on September 17,2012 at 2:48PM.,  He weighed 9lbs 2oz, and was 20 1/4" long. He is Amazing!! The love I feel for this tiny human is immeasurable.  He is perfect.  We had a rough start, but things are doing better...but I am getting ahead of myself.  I want to share Hogan's birth story with you.  So...here goes:

Introducing Hogan David!

We arrived at the hospital bright and early at about 6:45AM that morning.  We registered, and were taken up to my room, met my nurse and were asked to fill out some paperwork before I got changed and comfy.  About 10 minutes later our nurse came in and notified us that the surgical tech had called in sick and that my surgery (scheduled for 9:30AM)  would be postponed until later that morning when someone could come in to cover their shift.  "Ok...no problem"   Well..."later that morning" turned into "later this afternoon" to "maybe not today"  UGH!  With optimism in mind, my nurse had me change into my gown at about 10:00AM and got me all hooked up to the fetal monitor and got my IV started (which took 3 people and 6 pokes before they got it in...yowch!)  My doctor was in and out the entire morning and early afternoon checking on me and making sure that everything was going okay and reassuring me that my baby would be born that day since he knew how anxious I was to meet Hogan.  SO...at about1:00 we are confirmed that my surgery would be at 2:30PM.  EXCELLENT!
At 2:30 my nurse came into my room, collected me and my husband and we started the anxious walk down the hallway to the O.R.  I kissed Jason, and said "see you in a few" since he had to wait in the waiting room until I was all prepped and ready to go.  It was SO hard leaving him there.  I was nervous, I knew he was nervous, and he was the one person that I desperately wanted with me.  As soon as I stepped into the chilly stark Operating Room I started bawling.  I got scared and extremely nervous.  The nurses were great though and helped me calm down and get situated on the Operating table so I could get my epidural.  Let me tell ya...those fuckers HURT when they are getting put in...(crying ensued once again)  SO...anyways, they get me all prepped...put the curtain up and then Jason was right next to me "Thank God!"  I could feel them touching me, but I felt no pain.  After a few moments, I felt this "whoosh" feeling (like a balloon deflating) and seconds later we heard our sweet baby's first cries.  Jason and I both started crying immediately while my doctor joked "Congratulations!  It's a 3 year old!"  Jason went over to be with Hogan while they were cleaning him up and doing all the good stuff that they do to babies after they are born.  I LOVED hearing those cries and coos from the other side of the room and I desperately wanted to scoop him up and cuddle him.  Hogan and Jason then left to the recovery room while the doctors finished up whatever they were doing down there.  They slid me over to a hospital bed and wheeled me down the hallway to the recovery room.  They brought my sweet baby boy over to me and I was able to nurse him for the first time.  I LOVED that once he heard me say "hey baby" he looked right at me like "hey, I know that voice".  I was in heaven!  Especially once I was able to suck on some ice chips since it had been like 15 hours since I had anything to drink.  I spent the rest of the day snuggling him and visiting with family that stopped by to say hello and meet the new little one.

In the bilibed

That night after our nurse had taken Hogan to the nursery to get his first bath and do a few tests, she came back in and told us that his bilirubin levels were slightly high and that they would have to keep an eye on it especially since we were coombs positive.  In other words he was slightly jaundiced.  The next couple days went by just fine.  Of course lots of visitors and lots of cuddles.  The night before the day we were going to be sent home, our nurse checked his bilirubin again and the levels were higher...also he had lost almost a full pound, had a slight fever and his blood sugar was low.  All of these together landed my poor sweet baby in the NICU.  He was put under bililights, and put on IV fluids and antibiotics.  This was excruciatingly painful for Jason and I to sit helplessly by while our poor little mad felt so dang crummy.  I just thank God that it happened while we were still in the hospital.  So...my doctor just let us hang out for another day (until Friday) since my insurance paid for up to 5 days in the hospital.  Friday I was discharged, but Hogan was still in the NICU. Luckily our hospital is awesome and we were able to just stay in our room until he was discharged so I didn't have to leave my precious boy there alone.  Friday afternoon he was able to be in our room, and Saturday we got to go home!  What a nerve wracking week!!

Jay, Hogan and my doctor Dr.H

 It has been 3 weeks since we have been home and things are going about as good as they can be.  I am battling a slight case of Post Partum Depression, and of course we are exhausted from lack of sleep, but other than that...I am so incredibly happy, and I can't imagine life any other way.  I am SO deeply in love with this baby boy.  But he is calling me from his bassinet right now...just in time.  So, I must go.  Take care!



In Strength, Love & Faith, Thanks for Reading, Charity

40 Weeks & A C-Section!

How far along: 40 Weeks, 3 Day(s)

How big is baby: Estimated weight is 9lbs 3oz

Total weight gain:  I don't know...I stopped paying attention, haha.

Maternity clothes:  Thank God for stretchy waistbands!

Sleep: HA!  Very funny!

Best moment of the week:  Hearing that I get to meet my baby VERY soon!

Food cravings: My sweet tooth is RAGING right now.....

Food aversions:  Nothing really...that I didn't have an aversion to pre-pregnancy anyways

Symptoms: Heartburn, mood swings, restless legs, pelvic pressure, swelling...etc...

Movement:  lots of rolls and pokes

What I’m looking forward to:  Meeting my son TOMORROW!

What I miss:  Not feeling like my insides are going to come shooting out of me at any moment...


In other News: As stated above...we get to meet our precious baby boy tomorrow!  At my ultrasound 2 weeks ago, we learned that the little stinker has tucked back up into my belly and turned sideways and therefore, refusing to come out the natural way.  SO..tomorrow we will head to the hospital at 7:00AM, for my 9:30AM C-Section to remove him from his comfy confines.  I am both thrilled and terrified at the same time. I cannot wait to see him, and smell him, and kiss him, but at the same time, I know he is getting exactly everything he needs right now inside of me...and after tomorrow, I will be responsible to make sure Jason and I are meeting all of his needs...Scary shit!

This afternoon my hubs and I are heading to "the city" to go have a yummy last meal out as just husband and wife and go to a silly movie before I am banished to a hospital room for the rest of the week.  So, the next time you hear from me I will be a mommy!  I'm not sure when this next post will be, but until then, take care and enjoy the cooler weather!



In Strength, Love & Faith, Thanks for Reading, Charity

38 Weeks

How far along: 38 Weeks, 1 Day(s)

How big is baby: As of my ultrasound this morning he's 8lbs 4oz.

Total weight gain:  I don't know...I stopped paying attention, haha.

Maternity clothes:YUP!

Sleep: HA!

Best moment of the week: Nothing exciting happened....same ol business.

Food cravings: Not much of an appetite right now.

Food aversions:  Nothing really...that I didn't have an aversion to pre-pregnancy anyways

Symptoms: Heartburn, mood swings, restless legs, pelvic pressure, etc....

Movement:  lots of rolls and pokes

What I’m looking forward to:  Meeting my son.

What I miss:  Being comfortable....but It is all SO worth it, so I don't really mind.


In Strength, Love & Faith, Thanks for Reading, Charity

37 Weeks/Induction Discussions

How far along: 37 Weeks, 0 Day(s)

How big is baby: As of my ultrasound last Thursday his estimated weight is 7lbs 2oz. 

Total weight gain:  I think about 15 lbs.

Maternity clothes: Those...and yoga pants and tank tops....lots of yoga pants and tank tops.

Sleep: HA!

Best moment of the week: Getting to Full Term...Baby can come any time now.

Food cravings:  Popsicles, Milk, Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cranberry/peach juice, York Peppermint Patties

Food aversions:  Nothing really...that I didn't have an aversion to pre-pregnancy anyways

Symptoms:Heartburn, mood swings, restless legs, pelvic pressure, etc....

Movement:  lots of rolls and pokes

What I’m looking forward to:  Meeting my son.

What I miss:  Being comfortable....but It is all SO worth it, so I don't really mind.

In Other News: Still at about 1.5cm.  Had a Dr. Appointment today ,my blood pressure is back up and Doc said that I will probably be induced in the next 2 weeks.  To be perfectly honest...I was secretly hoping that my Doctor would say "Why don't we go ahead and induce you Monday"  No luck.  I know that it's best for Hogan to stay in there for another couple weeks, but my motives are purely selfish.  I WANT TO MEET MY BABY!  I want to not be pregnant any more.  It's getting to the point that it is painful...not just uncomfortable.  So...of course, I start bawling in the exam room after the doctor leaves to write up my lab sheets for blood work.  The nurse came in to find me all snotty and red faced with my poor helpless husband standing there with his arms around me and says " You want it to be over, don't you?"  "YES!  (bawl more)" 
(I am so lucky to have the doctor that I do and his nurses are AMAZING!)  But it sounds like he's going to take a look at my blood panel results, and see how my blood pressure does ( I have to take it at home) until my next appointment next week...and go from there...  But More than likely I will be induced at 39 Weeks. 


In Strength, Love & Faith, Thanks for Reading, Charity

36 Weeks

How far along: 36 Weeks, 2 Day(s)

How big is baby: As of my ultrasound on Thursday his estimated weight is 7lbs 2oz.  He's got puffy cheekers, a chubby belly, and his dad's short little legs.  :D

Total weight gain:  I think about 15 lbs.

Maternity clothes: Those...and yoga pants and tank tops....lots of yoga pants and tank tops.

Sleep: HA!

Best moment of the week:  Made it to 36 Weeks!!!  Only one more week to go before baby is full term and then he can come whenever he wants!

Food cravings:  Popsicles, Milk, Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cranberry/peach juice

Food aversions:  Nothing really...that I didn't have an aversion to pre-pregnancy anyways

Symptoms:Heartburn, mood swings, restless legs, pelvic pressure, etc....

Movement:  lots of rolls and pokes

What I’m looking forward to:FINALLY meeting my baby boy, and kissing those squishy cheeks, blowing raspberries on his chubby little tummy and "biting" at the rolls on those short little leg.

What I miss:  Being comfortable....but It is all SO worth it, so I don't really mind.

In Other News:  Dilated to 1.5cm, and 70% thinned out, baby is halfway locked and loaded into the pelvis and getting ready to be born! (As of Thursday)


In Strength, Love & Faith, Thanks for Reading, Charity

Scared Sh%#less

Pregnancy is a time in a woman's life that is full of fears and doubts.   Will I miscarry? What is causing that bleeding?  Why am I cramping so much?  Is he moving enough?  Is he moving too much?  Will I be able to deliver naturally?  Will I be able to handle the pain?  What if I go into labor too early?  What if something happens to him during delivery?  What if something happens to me during delivery?  What if he's sick?  What if he has to go to the NICU? What if we don't make it to the hospital in time and I have to give birth on the side of the road?  Will we be able to take care of this baby after he gets here?  All of these fears...no matter how silly they may seem, are all very real to the mother carrying that precious cargo. I, myself have thought once or twice about all of these things, plus many more.  A few that have been plaguing me recently are as follows, and the main reason I am sharing these is because I need a way to work through these thoughts, in a way that just thinking about them or even discussing them with my husband won't quench.

1) What if he's stillborn?
 I was watching A Baby Story the other day, and this couple was on there that had lost a previous baby...full term.  She had a completely normal, healthy pregnancy up until 37 weeks, when the baby died.  They didn't say what "caused" the baby's death, but of course, since I am quite impressionable these days, it made me ask this question.  What if that happens to Hogan?  So...of course...I go on an information rampage, googling, and reading everything I can get my fingers on about stillborn babies, and what causes this awful thing to happen.  Of course...I find several things that I have/had/have done that can cause Stillbirth.
*High blood pressure-  I mentioned how my job was affecting my pregnancy health...this was what it was.  It was not horribly high, (140's over 80's)  my Doctor put me on B/P meds to control it (which had to be increased 3 times...and still didn't really go down until I got laid off) and my doctor monitored me closely with weekly visits. I am still taking these meds, just to be safe, but my blood pressure is not an issue at this point.  However, it's still something that bothers me.
*Obesity- As stated before, I am not a small lady...my Doctor didn't think it would be an issue for me to be pregnant at my size (I made sure to ask before I got pregnant) since I had no other health issues...my blood sugar was excellent, my blood pressure was excellent, I was active, and in good shape other than being a fatty and any other blood work I had done came back normal...so...he encouraged us to keep trying. He still mentions nothing about my size/weight, except when I gained 5 pounds in a week...and that was only until he saw my legs and feet and saw exactly where that weight was residing in the form of swelling/water weight.
*Low Movement- If Hogan takes a day off from being Chuck Norris' apprentice and doesn't move as much as he usually does (even though I can still feel him moving) I freak out.  I do fetal kick counts to make sure that he is moving at least 10 times in 2 hours...usually he accomplishes this in the first 10-15 minutes...but I am SO enormously scared that this precious baby that we want SO much is going to be taken from us.  Then I feel so stupid for worrying about these things that I don't bring them up to my doctor.  I know that he wouldn't think me silly and could probably put my mind at ease if I did bring them up, but I'm apparently a moron and am just happier worrying about it....stupid.  This has made me make the decision to definitely bring these things up to him at our next appointment on Thursday.  Ahhh...an epiphany! (haha)

2) How will my relationship with Jason change after the baby is born?
My husband and I have an incredible relationship.  We can talk to each other about ANYTHING. I love this man so much that I don't have any idea how my heart will hold all the love I have for him and all the love I have and will have for our son.  I know that our relationship will change...that's part of what happens when you have a baby.  I just don't want to turn into that couple that fights all the time, and argues about every little thing.  Or that couple that doesn't talk at all, or who's conversations are only about their child and about nothing else...I don't want us to lose our identity as a couple just because we also have a child. 

These are the Two subjects that have caused me the most anguish during this last trimester.  I am otherwise more than ready for Hogan to be here.  His room is ready, the house is ready (mostly).  All we have to do is install the car seat. I cannot wait to meet this boy and kiss those chubby cheeks that we have been seeing on his ultrasounds.  
I think that Hogan knows when I am thinking/writing about him. Today is one of those days when he hasn't been especially active, but it's as if he knows when I am worrying, because he just started jabbing around in there as if to say "I'm just fine mommy, don't worry."
I feel a little better about these things now...isn't it funny how just writing something down it can bring more clarity?  I have thought all of these thoughts before...but somehow seeing them written makes more sense.  Weird.  I will definitely discuss fear #1 with my doctor on Thursday to put my mind to rest at least a little.  So....I spose until next time, take care!


In Strength, Love & Faith, Thanks for Reading, Charity

35 Weeks

How far along: 35 Weeks, 1 Day(s)

How big is baby: Two weeks ago his estimated wt. (via ultrasound) was 5lbs 7oz...so unless he's plateaued a little bit he's probably around 7lbs right now.

Total weight gain:  I think about 15 lbs.

Maternity clothes:  Pretty much.  However my uniform at home is yoga pants and tank tops with a built in bra...I have heard this trend will probably continue once baby is here...

Sleep:I get about 2-4 solid hours of sleep a night....otherwise I am either up peeing, doing the "15 point" roll over (it takes 15 steps for me to roll over, and get comfortable again), fidgeting with my restless legs, fishing for tums, or just laying awake enjoying the acrobatics going on inside of my belly.

Best moment of the week:  Reaching the 35 week point! 

Food cravings:  Popsicles, Milk, Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches 

Food aversions:  Nothing really...that I didn't have an aversion to pre-pregnancy anyways

Symptoms: mood swings, hip pain, swelling, leg cramps, mood swings, constipation, headaches, backaches, restless legs, mood swings, HEARTBURN!!!!!, you name it....

Movement:  lots of rolls and pokes

What I’m looking forward to: Reaching 37 weeks.  Then he can come whenever he wants...and I'm secretly hoping it's sooner than later after that.  :)

What I miss:  Being comfortable....but It is all SO worth it, so I don't really mind.

In other news:  I have been feeling a lot of pressure in my lower abdomen and pelvic floor.  The doctor checked me on Wednesday and we are 1cm dilated.  Baby is still nice and high so I don't see him coming any time super soon, but it was pretty neat to hear that progress is being made toward that amazing day when we get to meet our precious little Hogan!


In Strength, Love & Faith, Thanks for Reading, Charity

What have you been up to?

Hello!  I have had a severe case of writer's block lately, so with the exception of the weekly updates on swollen ankles and a complete and total lack of bowel movements...I have remained quiet...on here anyways.  (I'm sure you're thinking, "Thank God...since she just mentioned bowel movements in her first sentence!"...and now the second, HA!)So...here's an update on what's been going on in our life, in case you are DYING to know (and I know you are).

Well...things are going pretty well right now...Not working...but who's gonna hire someone who could go into labor at any minute, and then need 6 weeks (at least) off to care for her newborn?  I wouldn't, so why should I expect someone else to? Right?  So, for now we are just getting things ready for baby's arrival.  Washing clothing/bedding/toys/etc., Putting together the pack-n-play, rocking chair and stroller, organizing the diapers we have already received into bags by size, and making the baby's bedding.  That and scrubbing my entire kitchen floor with a small brush and Magic Eraser, making my poor, sweet husband move all our furniture and area rugs so I can clean under them (even though this was just done not long ago), Madly scraping the "information" stickers off of our new windows with a razor blade, cleaning the kitchen cabinets...again, thinking to myself that "the potted tree in the corner looks a little crooked...maybe I should re-pot it", and cleaning the dust out of the corners of the television with a Q-tip, because the rag I am using just won't quite get in there to get alllll the dust out. Ya know...normal, every day, things that every sane person does. At least I haven't started scrubbing the toilets with that spare toothbrush....yet. 

My auntie threw me a baby shower a couple of weeks ago.  It was fun, hot, but fun, and we received a lot of the stuff we need for the first few months of baby's wonderful life.  We are so blessed to have so many generous friends and family members, thanks to whom we won't have to buy Hogan clothes until he's 25...as long as he stays within the 18 month size range anyways....  We played stupid games (the kind that everyone dreads playing when going to baby showers...but not the "guess the candy poop game"...I put my foot down there, haha). Guests filled out advice cards for me for taking care of baby.  And we munched on fruit dipped in chocolate and a yummy strawberry cake.  OH! And Margaritas..."I'll take mine virgin, please!".

We have been doing some swimming, which feels AMAZING...both for my poor hips/back, and because it's hotter than a billy goat in a pepper patch! (what?) We have also just been sitting around in the air conditioning watching the Olympics and eating popsicles.   I have been trying to alleviate some of the muscle cramps and aches and pains by doing some stretching and Yoga, it helps a little, but not much, or if it is helping, I don't want to feel what it's like when I'm not doing them, haha.  I scheduled a prenatal massage for Thursday, so that should help.  (There is a dude in the nearby city that does prenatal massage for $30 for an hour and a half!  He does it to pay homage to his sweet wife after he saw how miserable and uncomfortable she was during pregnancy. Awww.)


Other than this...life has been pretty uneventful.  Just waiting for this sweet little babe to come into this world.  I CANNOT WAIT to meet him and snuggle and kiss him.  Only 5 more weeks until my due date and they can't go by fast enough! 

I hope that this finds you all doing well and staying cool.  Take care.  Until next time...



 






In Strength, Love & Faith, Thanks for Reading, Charity

34 Weeks

How far along: 34 Weeks, 0 Days

How big is baby: 5 lbs 7oz and counting!

Total weight gain:  Not sure, haha...I couldn't remember what my weight was at my last appointment...preggo brain be hittin this mama hard!

Maternity clothes:  There's something else I can wear??

Sleep: Ugh...don't even get me started.

Best moment of the week:Getting our Pack-n-Play, Stroller/Car seat, and baby "backpack"  In the mail.  Thanks Mom!

Food cravings:  Butterscotch Pudding....no idea where that came from, and popsicles 

Food aversions: I can't really think of anything right now, but I'm sure if you put something in front of me right now I would have an opinion about it haha.

Symptoms: mood swings, hip pain, swelling, leg cramps, mood swings, constipation, headaches, backaches, restless legs, mood swings, HEARTBURN!!!!!, you name it....

Movement: I don't know what he's doing in there....pretty sure I have a small version of Chuck Norris growing in my uterus...

What I’m looking forward to: Meeting my son!  Only 6 weeks left until my due date!

What I miss:  Not a thing...

Next appointment:  Next Wednesday


In Strength, Love & Faith, Thanks for Reading, Charity